i'm holding on by letting go of you.

can relate?

shit man! someone found out about my secret blog today. haha. well, i blog there everyday also, but different stuff from what i blog here. i just changed the url to something more complicated, see if anyone finds it this time, will get a prize! finally i'm sleeping better i guess and because of my lack of appetite, perhaps with a little added stress, my weight has dropped by 2kg the past few days! woohoo! maybe things like that make my appetite bad. haha. maybe other things? oh wells.

my "friend" told me about his relationship problems, i shall not name who to protect his pride and his girlfriend's shameless-ness. so i spent a little time in the morning to read on something random about relationships...

Link 1
Link 2
Link 3

selfish and disrespectful act..
so disturbed with the images in my mind..
better-looking, rich and taller than their partner..
is total betrayal..
she likes the attention..
absolute lowest thing..
it's disgusting..

i think it's sad how love can be ruined by something so worthless. anyone with other views? email me, vanified@yahoo.com.sg (:

anyways, yesterday was the last time i did my nightly routine thingy since coming back from melbourne. gosh, to think i planned so many more interesting stuff for the next few days and weeks but all has to come to a halt, just can't bring myself to do it anymore. i need to practise self-control. i guess i have to still fulfil some last promises and have a last plan to unleash before things can be erased. hmm.

today, singapore is finally sunny. i just had to get outta my house coz every minute at home kills man. so yea, i went to town to meet joanfong for like 10mins to walk from far east to wheelock, then i spent some time slacking at mooks before heading to bugis num just to see ziyang for like 10mins before he ended work and left. yes, my life is that desperate and boring for now, loitering around anywhere where i can find a friend and not be alone. can someone please ask me out? ugh, i sound so pathetic.

bloody hell, i know nobody can save me emotionally but please someone save me physically. first thing joanfong said when she met me today was, "your eyebags are very bad!". ziyang said, "your eyebags are making your eyes even smaller!". wah lao. now what should i do tonight?

disappointment overweighs disgust.